I take all my relationships super seriously... Well almost all of them, I take my family for granted, but that's normal, right?! Hah. Jk. But my friends I take seriously.
As I've started to come into my own, as an adult, I've realized that you get to choose a lot of how you want to spend your life. Everyone knows, I hope, that I am an extrovert. I love to talk, and it's almost impossible to shut me up. Side note: the other day at work, my coworker was commenting on the number of stories I have. We later realized it's just that I don't let other people get a word in.. Oops. Anyways, I used to spend a lot of time trying to figure out how I could make the most friends. I went from being a pushover to being a complete bitch. Neither one really worked. I mean, I made friends, but not the kinds of friends I could call at all hour of the night if I needed... Or wanted.
In high school, I called myself the nomad/the wanderer. My class was known for being very cliquey, and because I couldn't decide on who I wanted to be in high school, I wasn't really in a clique. I would have been a great politician. I would act and say things I thought people wanted to see and hear, but I wasn't getting the super tight bonds I had always wanted.
It wasn't until about 4 years ago when I decided to quit my job and become a full-time volunteer (what up AmeriCorps!) that I found myself. I met people who I felt really got me. Prior to meeting these people, I had maybe two people with whom I felt such a strong and instant connection with. I felt like I could trust these people and more importantly not worry about impressing them. This is really where I came into my own.
Surrounding myself with positive people who aren't afraid to be weird or different made me realize that I'm fucking awesome. They gave me the confidence to be who I am and the support to do it. I am forever grateful to them, even though they may not know who they are. You know who you are.
So I got this choice, and I'm constantly faced with this choice; to be true to who I am, or to bend myself to someone else's idea of me. While it's always tempting to do the latter, I've come to realize that when I am true to myself, I attract awesome people. People that I feel that instant connect with. People that I know I want to actively make a part of my life. People I would ride or die for.
Like I said earlier, I don't have very many close friends from childhood. I don't talk to anyone from elementary school, I barely communicate with my high school friends, and the names of my close college friends could fit on one hand. But now, I feel like I could fill an entire auditorium with people I care about. I definitely can throw parties and be guaranteed they'll be packed. I'm not trying to brag, but I'm trying to say I wish I knew how awesome I was sooner.
I love my friends, each and every one of them, even the ones I find to be a little more high maintenance, because I know what it's like to feel like you don't have a clique/gang/squad. My friends are like my family. So don't fuck with them, or I'll have to fuck with you.... :P